I just received your message and I totally understand. Sometimes we cannot share certain details of our life with those within our circle. I have walked in your shoes and time is the greatest healer. Jenny, sometimes relationships end and it hurts especially one with a long history. Whether good or bad it is an entire book written together. My dear, my tears were many too. It does feel like a roller coaster and it is up to you to make the right decision. You either stay or leave the relationship. It's gonna hurt either way but it all depends on what 'Jenny" wants in life. I chose to be happy and I pray that you choose the same. If you need to "standstill" for a short time as you prepare then do so. Consult a good attorney before leaving your home or doing anything. Sometimes those most dear break our hearts into a million pieces-I know that all too well. God has never left your side and he will get you through this storm. Remain strong in prayer! Prayer is your guiding light out of this darkness that you feel. I share in your heartache because I have walked in your shoes. . You will be alright. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I pray that God's will be done in your life. Please feel free to contact me again. God Bless You.