# 146- Shattered Trust Within A Marriage

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Is it possible to turn an old marriage into a brand new "wonderful" one after infidelity?  Absolutely! At least for some couples.  How did they survive such disloyalty and pain?  By burying the old marriage! Yes! Consider it dead and gone! So now what? What does that mean?  Do I just pretend that nothing ever happened?  The decision is ultimately up to the person who has been betrayed whether they will stay or go. It is a very important decision and should not be taken right after discovering the infidelity. Clearly things will be tense within the household but the person holding the pieces of their broken heart needs time.  Time to gather his or her thoughts and get over the shock. This is a long process and will not happen overnight.  In some cases, there is no chance for repair but  if there is a long history for some it is harder to walk away.

The couples that have chosen to stay within the marriage, survive it because they have chosen to begin from scratch.  A brand new marriage and it is actually filled with hope.  As a catholic couple, they  have no doubt  placed God right in the center of the marriage. This time taking  no chances that "evil" will take hold of the marriage.  The couples have sought the help from their church and work hard in building a new life together.  This really means forgetting the past marriage. The couples start out as newlyweds!  Surviving infidelity is not done alone as couples but rather by having a great support team right by your side.  A strong commitment by both parties. Sometimes the person who cheated is just so scared to lose the "comfort" of the familiar that they change for only a short time only to return to old ways. I often tell you that the "familiar" can be far stronger than love.

Creating a brand new marriage means implementing changes such as:
1.  Changing cellular phone number from person who has been unfaithful.
2.  If the "other" person still works at same place of employment possible transfer to another department or complete change will be required.
3.  Spend more time together and share information about your day.
4.  Surprise one another for lunch during work hours.  Even if it means only for 30 minutes.
5.  Forgetting the old marriage means NEVER bringing the infidelity up again. Remember this is a brand new start and that does not include the past. Okay?
6. No lies of any kind!
7. Communication....communication... is vital!
8. Intimacy-working to create a new intimate life is vital. Express the love you have for one another because it is that same love that is the glue to keep your marriage together. . 
9.. Share financial accounts and other important information as a married couple.
10. .Create a brand new marital life completely different than the old marriage.

Dear Lord,
I offer you this prayer, to help me with my current relationship situation. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience, and understanding. Bless me and my partner, so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges that come our way. Fill our hearts with love for each other, and may you make each one of us realize each other's worth. Please touch the heart of my partner, fill it with much love for me. Make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us. Lead us not into temptations. Guide us wherever we go. Always put us in each others heart and mind. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I love you. Amen.
Prayer From Catholic Online

 May this day offer you just what you need in each unfolding moment.                       
Smiles and Hugs, 

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